Here's to friends who become family

My friend Faye walked into my house last week, breezing through the door with a quick knock to give me time to cover up if I were, like, naked. Not that it matters, since she’s seen horribly stretch-marked parts of me that I’d die of embarrassment for anyone else to see. She's seen me breastfeed all three of my babas, looking completely sleep deprived with my boobs out so it’s safe to say we’re pretty comfortable with each other.

I didn’t rush to greet her, just waved her in from my spot on the couch. Because it was the end of the day and I was exhausted from the kids  bedtime routine, but also because we’ve moved past the need for formalities like official greetings. I treat her like I would treat my family. Because, in a certain sense, she is my sister. We’ve created our own friendship that goes deeper than lunch dates and gossip.She has become like family, and I can’t imagine navigating my life without her love and support.

Technically, family is a matter of DNA. But nobody who says “I want a family,” means “I want a group of genetically similar people.” They want an unbreakable bond. The unconditional love and warmth. A soft place to land when everything seems dark and difficult. And sometimes, getting those things means looking outside our family circles.

Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be born into wonderful, close-knit units, but then grow up and move away and don’t see them often. When that happens, our friends are like surrogates, making sure we never have to spend a special occasion alone, we are never alone when going through tough times.


Friends who become family see us for who we are now, even through the awkward, wild, or straight-up dumb phases. There’s a level of comfort and familiarity that you just don’t achieve with regular friends. These friendships are next-level shit, and I’m so grateful for them. Because they’re here for me: the family I chose in the absence of my own.

I guess what I am trying to say is find your tribe and love them hard. They are always there when it counts.