Things I wish i'd know before kids

After seeing and holding the newest member of our family friends week old newbie, I’ve realised that there is nothing as beautiful and amazing as the sight of a new born baby, oh and the the smell, the smell of a newborn is so incredible, if you could bottle that new smell up….. It would fly of the shelves im telling you. That wonderful smell was like a spell cast over me, it almost made me tell my husband that we should go for number four, well for a good five minutes until that feeling of being scooped in to a hurricane of  child chaos, crying and tantrums made me realise that I couldn't possibly have another baby.

No way. No how.

Now I love babies, kids, children of all ages. I could sit and cuddle all day. But Having a baby is hard work, as cute and cuddly, as beautiful and loving it is to have children  it’s also scary, exhausting, literally physically and emotionally exhausting, and hard.  So thats me I’m done.  I actually applaud and high five the mums that have more than two children, to me they are just amazing,myself included, how do they do it all? I am completely winging the life out of parenting I feel faint just thinking about it.

Nevertheless, all stages of Motherhood are hard, I wish someone sat me down before I had children to really tell me the in’s and outs, to explain that there will be very high highs’ and extremely low low’s. And maybe just maybe I wouldn’t be such a fruit loop.
So here are some things I wish I knew before I had my kids:

1. You won’t sleep. Even if your baby is a “sleeper” you still won’t sleep; how can you? The media, doctors and everyone in between will worry you so much you’ll never sleep soundly again. The only real sleep you’ll get is when you go away, without your kids, all by yourself in a hotel room.


2. Little bitty babies – think of them as a little human –  They will constantly change the goal posts. Just when you think you've got it figured out boom they change everything upside down again.It’s one of the most challenging “things” to grasp and can be rough if you’re a Type A-person and want things a certain way but try to go with the flow, it will help a lot.

3. Choose two or three close family or friends that you can bounce your questions off of, if you ask too many people you’ll end up in that padded room.

4. Mummy brain. You will NOT remember a thing, don’t worry it happens to all of us.

5. TRUST yourself. Please trust yourself. You are doing your Best.

6. You will make mistakes and it’s okay. Nobody has a parenting guidebook everyone is winging it.

7. Don’t compare your child to anyone, even a sibling. Each child is unique, has their own character and abilities.

8.  Bottle fed, breast fed,  who cares. Feed your baby how ever the hell you see fit. Do not feel ashamed or judged. You do what's best for you.

9. Embrace your new body. Yes it might not be the same as before but your freaking awesome. You have grown a tiny human inside. Give yourself some credit. You rock!

10. You will become a human tissue. You will find tissues, wipes, sleeves very useful for your darlings constant runny nose.

11. The washing never ends. It never will, the laundry room will be your best friend.

12. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, take time for yourself – an hour a week – if it’s a walk, reading a book, having your hair or nails done. do something, you have to fill your own cup up or you won’t be able to help anyone else.

Here's to friends who become family

My friend Faye walked into my house last week, breezing through the door with a quick knock to give me time to cover up if I were, like, naked. Not that it matters, since she’s seen horribly stretch-marked parts of me that I’d die of embarrassment for anyone else to see. She's seen me breastfeed all three of my babas, looking completely sleep deprived with my boobs out so it’s safe to say we’re pretty comfortable with each other.

I didn’t rush to greet her, just waved her in from my spot on the couch. Because it was the end of the day and I was exhausted from the kids  bedtime routine, but also because we’ve moved past the need for formalities like official greetings. I treat her like I would treat my family. Because, in a certain sense, she is my sister. We’ve created our own friendship that goes deeper than lunch dates and gossip.She has become like family, and I can’t imagine navigating my life without her love and support.

Technically, family is a matter of DNA. But nobody who says “I want a family,” means “I want a group of genetically similar people.” They want an unbreakable bond. The unconditional love and warmth. A soft place to land when everything seems dark and difficult. And sometimes, getting those things means looking outside our family circles.

Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be born into wonderful, close-knit units, but then grow up and move away and don’t see them often. When that happens, our friends are like surrogates, making sure we never have to spend a special occasion alone, we are never alone when going through tough times.


Friends who become family see us for who we are now, even through the awkward, wild, or straight-up dumb phases. There’s a level of comfort and familiarity that you just don’t achieve with regular friends. These friendships are next-level shit, and I’m so grateful for them. Because they’re here for me: the family I chose in the absence of my own.

I guess what I am trying to say is find your tribe and love them hard. They are always there when it counts.