Things I wish i'd know before kids

After seeing and holding the newest member of our family friends week old newbie, I’ve realised that there is nothing as beautiful and amazing as the sight of a new born baby, oh and the the smell, the smell of a newborn is so incredible, if you could bottle that new smell up….. It would fly of the shelves im telling you. That wonderful smell was like a spell cast over me, it almost made me tell my husband that we should go for number four, well for a good five minutes until that feeling of being scooped in to a hurricane of  child chaos, crying and tantrums made me realise that I couldn't possibly have another baby.

No way. No how.

Now I love babies, kids, children of all ages. I could sit and cuddle all day. But Having a baby is hard work, as cute and cuddly, as beautiful and loving it is to have children  it’s also scary, exhausting, literally physically and emotionally exhausting, and hard.  So thats me I’m done.  I actually applaud and high five the mums that have more than two children, to me they are just amazing,myself included, how do they do it all? I am completely winging the life out of parenting I feel faint just thinking about it.

Nevertheless, all stages of Motherhood are hard, I wish someone sat me down before I had children to really tell me the in’s and outs, to explain that there will be very high highs’ and extremely low low’s. And maybe just maybe I wouldn’t be such a fruit loop.
So here are some things I wish I knew before I had my kids:

1. You won’t sleep. Even if your baby is a “sleeper” you still won’t sleep; how can you? The media, doctors and everyone in between will worry you so much you’ll never sleep soundly again. The only real sleep you’ll get is when you go away, without your kids, all by yourself in a hotel room.


2. Little bitty babies – think of them as a little human –  They will constantly change the goal posts. Just when you think you've got it figured out boom they change everything upside down again.It’s one of the most challenging “things” to grasp and can be rough if you’re a Type A-person and want things a certain way but try to go with the flow, it will help a lot.

3. Choose two or three close family or friends that you can bounce your questions off of, if you ask too many people you’ll end up in that padded room.

4. Mummy brain. You will NOT remember a thing, don’t worry it happens to all of us.

5. TRUST yourself. Please trust yourself. You are doing your Best.

6. You will make mistakes and it’s okay. Nobody has a parenting guidebook everyone is winging it.

7. Don’t compare your child to anyone, even a sibling. Each child is unique, has their own character and abilities.

8.  Bottle fed, breast fed,  who cares. Feed your baby how ever the hell you see fit. Do not feel ashamed or judged. You do what's best for you.

9. Embrace your new body. Yes it might not be the same as before but your freaking awesome. You have grown a tiny human inside. Give yourself some credit. You rock!

10. You will become a human tissue. You will find tissues, wipes, sleeves very useful for your darlings constant runny nose.

11. The washing never ends. It never will, the laundry room will be your best friend.

12. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, take time for yourself – an hour a week – if it’s a walk, reading a book, having your hair or nails done. do something, you have to fill your own cup up or you won’t be able to help anyone else.

Here's to friends who become family

My friend Faye walked into my house last week, breezing through the door with a quick knock to give me time to cover up if I were, like, naked. Not that it matters, since she’s seen horribly stretch-marked parts of me that I’d die of embarrassment for anyone else to see. She's seen me breastfeed all three of my babas, looking completely sleep deprived with my boobs out so it’s safe to say we’re pretty comfortable with each other.

I didn’t rush to greet her, just waved her in from my spot on the couch. Because it was the end of the day and I was exhausted from the kids  bedtime routine, but also because we’ve moved past the need for formalities like official greetings. I treat her like I would treat my family. Because, in a certain sense, she is my sister. We’ve created our own friendship that goes deeper than lunch dates and gossip.She has become like family, and I can’t imagine navigating my life without her love and support.

Technically, family is a matter of DNA. But nobody who says “I want a family,” means “I want a group of genetically similar people.” They want an unbreakable bond. The unconditional love and warmth. A soft place to land when everything seems dark and difficult. And sometimes, getting those things means looking outside our family circles.

Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be born into wonderful, close-knit units, but then grow up and move away and don’t see them often. When that happens, our friends are like surrogates, making sure we never have to spend a special occasion alone, we are never alone when going through tough times.


Friends who become family see us for who we are now, even through the awkward, wild, or straight-up dumb phases. There’s a level of comfort and familiarity that you just don’t achieve with regular friends. These friendships are next-level shit, and I’m so grateful for them. Because they’re here for me: the family I chose in the absence of my own.

I guess what I am trying to say is find your tribe and love them hard. They are always there when it counts.

Vegas By Helicopter

My dad has always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and we were looking for some fun whilst visiting Las Vegas.  I looked into taking a Grand Canyon helicopter tour and started browsing the tour companies and making calls. There were a lot of sites offering Grand Canyon helicopter tours, but most were third parties selling these tours for the same couple of actual helicopter tour companies. After many calls we went with Sundance Helicopters.

We chose the Grand Canyon helicopter tour package that actually lands in the Grand Canyon instead of the ones that just fly over it. Part of the package includes transportation from your hotel to the helicopter tour company. We were picked up at our Las Vegas strip hotel in a very nice stretched limo.

                          

As we flew out of the airport we headed over the city of Las Vegas and into the desert. Our pilot would point interesting things out as we made our way through the desert. Our first sight was flying over the blue waters of Las Vegas Bay which was beautiful. Our next “stop” was the Hoover Dam which was quite impressive

             

Our Grand Canyon helicopter tour package included a lunch in the canyon. Our helicopter and one other landed at a private plateau of the Grand Canyon about 3,500 feet below the canyon rim with views overlooking the Colorado River.

 

After landing we all exited the helicopters and there were  picnic tables where the pilots set up our picnic lunches and some drinks for our tour group. We just had a quick bite of our lunches so we could spend some extra time walking around and exploring the Grand Canyon.

 

The area was very quiet and peaceful while the views were very beautiful and dreamlike. We explored a little bit toward the canyon walls but spent most of our time walking around the rocks and overlooks of the river and the canyon walls that were carved out over time.

After a while we were taking off again to our final part of the flight, which was over the spectacular Las Vegas strip. The place is something out of this world. The hotels are phenomenal. I highly recommended Sun dance helicopter tours. They were super friendly and guided us through as we in flight.

 

Sandy toes, Sun kissed nose

When I arrived in Fort Myers this summer, I was really excited about going to the beach. Like REALLY excited. I was going to go every day! The kids were going to love it! I was going to get a tan! Before we set off I made sure we were well prepared for our sandy day. We had beach chairs and an umbrella packed, beach towels, a cooler packed with ice cold drinks and snacks. Shed loads of sun cream and hats. Mrs prepared or what.

We set out on our first trip with my my 8, 6 and 3 year old. We slapped on the suncream and made our way out to the sand. The beach at Fort Myers is gorgeous, I could barely set my bags down before all three kids were waist deep in the water. They love the beach and swimming in the ocean.  Although if i’m honest I have never really been a lover of the beach, but all that has changed, I actually sat right down on the shoreline with Rex and let him splash around while the waves and sand rolled over us.

We spent our morning splashing in the waves near the shore, building royal forts and castles in the sand. The kids had competitions to see who could collect the most shells along the beach. I thoroughly enjoyed running in and out of the sea with my 3 little babes. I could play at the beach all day and watch theses three crazies explore.  After we were finished frolicking in the waves we surprisingly managed a picnic lunch at the beach with no sand being eaten or kicked in people's eyes. God knows how we managed it but hallelujah to that. Dare I say it, I actually found it quite peaceful and relaxing, Watching the kids tuck in whilst watching the waves roll up the shore.

The kids had been admiring the sail boats and jet skis whizzing by in the distance. I have always loved to ride them since I was a kid. My parents used to take me on them and we would race along the sea together. I asked the kids if they would like to give it a go? It will be a first for the kids and what an experience and great memory it will be for them. No need to guess at their answer.

So we hired 3 jet skis, Sam my dad and I with 1 little fish each to ride along the ocean along the shore at fort Myers beach. I could hear the kids laughter as we zoomed upon the waves. Sand in our toes and sea salt in our hair with not a care in the world. What a thrill.

After all that fun the kids were pooped and so was I. Running round after 3 tiny humans in the baking heat can take out of you. Im one tired mama.We gathered our belongings dusted the kids down with baby powder and packed our van up. What a fabulous day.The beach is where memories are made, and I hope my kids remember frolicking in the sand and water, exploring nature, and feeling the wind in their hair.

Some of my tips for great ways to make beach experiences with little ones fantastic.
Pack sun cream. So so important, especially for the little ones delicate skin. It's usually baking hot at the beach with no shelter, where your exposed to the blistering sun and beach breeze which is sneakily deceiving. So slap on the factor 50 enjoy the beach and be sure to re apply throughout the day. I would also advice buying or hiring an umbrella.This a great investment, as you and your kids can spend way longer at the beach while basking in the shade. Last but not least avoiding Sand in the snacks. I’m still trying to find a good way to solve this one. Bring talcum powder with you, throw it on your child, and like magic, the sand comes off. I found this useful not only when leaving the beach, but right before eating snacks and/or lunch, as there is nothing worse than eating sand. Nothing.

So there you have it a day at the beach with the Fishers with a few little handy tips thrown in for good measure.

Comparison the thief of joy

Lets talk about Mum guilt. Before I had kids, it was just a phrase to roll my eyes at. After I had kids, it became  something I lived with daily. Before I had kids, I was quite simply care free and rarely felt guilty about anything. Since I’ve had kids Its become a routine to feel mum guilt…

Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all guilty of it. We see instagram perfect mummy’s who look like that they have their stuff together and the guilt sets in.

I didn’t spend enough time playing with the kids.

I didn’t get the house clean because I was playing with the kids.

I read with my oldest much more often than I read with the younger two.

I’m not strict enough. I’m too strict.

I don’t plan enough activities for the kids to do. So I need to Pinterest the hell out of life now.

I should be happy all the time because I get to stay home with my kids and other mums would kill to be in my situation.

I have found since having children that mothers can be the worst at comparing, them selves and of others. Even down to mums shaming new mums saying 'you shouldn't be bottle feeding, breast is best' down to 'oh i wouldn't breast feed in public'  I mean seriously who cares how a baby is fed as long as the baby is being fed right ? Are we not all on the same team ?

Then there is the mums who say 'oh your a stay at home mum? you've got it easy, what do you do all day? then the others 'I don't know how you can go back to work and leave your babes'  Im like 'ohhhh ok Mary chill your boots lovely you do what works for you im gonna do works for me' and all that jazz.  Life would be that bit easier if people were a little less judgy because in reality most mums do not have a scooby doo what they are doing. There is no instruction manual on parenting. No right or wrong way to bring your cherubs up. We are all just trying to do the best we can.

So now I have to learn let go of the guilt and simply accept that I’m not perfect. Then when I do that and stop comparing I can focus on the most important thing of loving my kids.